What is a micro wedding and is it right for you?

 Micro weddings, the new buzz phrase in the wedding industry. The global pandemic has provided us with a lot of new words and phrases most of which, if we’re being honest, we’re fed up of hearing. But micro weddings are something I think most of us can get on board with. They prove that love is not cancelled, that couples will find a way to have their special day no matter what. In short a micro wedding is the small wedding trend that’s about to have a big impact!

What is a micro wedding?

The definition of a micro wedding varies depending on what resources you look at. Some say 50 guests or less, some say 20 guests or less. The general consensus though is that a micro wedding has a smaller number of guests, a more relaxed feel and is the perfect middle ground for those that don’t want to elope but don’t want 150 people at their wedding either. By that definition we’re definitely having a micro wedding and had planned to do so before anyone even knew that Corona was anything more than a beer! We’re having just less than 50 guests throughout the entire day, no extra evening guests and we’re going for a super relaxed and fun day.

 A micro wedding can still honour wedding traditions if that’s what you want or you can take the opportunity to have a more relaxed day that better reflects you as a couple. That’s exactly what we’re doing. It was a conscious decision to have a small guest list and just keep it to friends and family we regularly see rather than inviting everyone just because it’s a wedding. Micro weddings are great for actually being able to mix with your guests and spend quality time with the people you care about rather than trying to snatch a few seconds with 150 people.

Of course the pandemic and restrictions around weddings have forced many couples, who maybe hadn’t previously contemplated a micro wedding, to re-plan their entire wedding day with a much smaller guest list. Other couples have seen this time as an opportunity to ditch the big wedding and go for something more intimate too even if they aren’t concerned that their wedding would be effected by restrictions. Being part of the huge wedding community on Instagram, I’ve seen many couples choosing to have a micro wedding and then a party at a different date, just having a micro wedding and nothing else or changing their wedding plans entirely and switching from a big wedding to a micro wedding because the pandemic has given them time to reflect and they’ve decided it better suits them.

There’s no doubt about it, micro weddings are big news right now!

Is a micro wedding right for you?

Well truly only you and your partner can answer this. We decided very early on in wedding planning that a small wedding was the way forward for us. After ditching the big wedding ideas and deciding to have a small budget and super relaxed day, it made sense that our guest list should fall in-line with that too. It sort of goes without saying that having a smaller guest list is what has helped us keep the budget down too. Less guests = less mouths to feed and lets face it, food is big money at weddings!

 If you are considering a micro wedding then here are a few things to think about though which may help you to make a decision:

1. Micro weddings typically cost less money – having a lot of wedding guests costs a lot of money. Your guests need feeding and bigger, more traditional weddings tend to go down the route of a wedding breakfast for day guests then a buffet/BBQ/hog roast/food trucks for evening guests. That is a lot of money spent on food. For us, having a smaller wedding with no extra evening guests has allowed us to have an afternoon ceremony that goes straight into the reception after. It was means we’re only having a buffet which has saved us loads of money.

2. You can actually spend time with your guests (and each other) – who really wants to me mingling with their great aunts and uncle nob head that you never see when you could be sharing the love with your closest family and friends! A micro wedding allows you to share your special day with the people you spend the most time with, the people who have probably watched your relationship blossom from day one. Also the less guests you have, the more time you have for each other. Imagine spending your wedding day making sure everyone else is O.K. and totally forgetting about each other because great auntie Pat really wanted that dance with her special nephew and you get cornered by your mums best mate who just had to fill you in about Terry down the road dying.

3. Be prepared for people who assumed they’d be invited – I’ve had this myself but as soon as people get a sniff of a wedding they automatically assume they’re invited and start dusting off the fascinator and polishing their shoes. Stick to your guns though. If you’re determined to have a small guest list don’t get pressured into inviting people. Remember, it’s your day, your way. You decide who you’re inviting to your wedding, no one else. It’s hard but if you truly want a micro wedding you need to be prepared to be tough.

4. Less eyes on you – if the thought of all the attention being on you terrifies you then the chances are 100 people watching you walk down the aisle is pure nightmare fuel. Micro weddings are absolutely fabulous for this as you’ve got less guests staring at you. Whether you’re shy and you just feel uncomfortable being around a lot of people or you have anxiety, there are many reasons that having all eyes on you may be a scary thought. A micro wedding can definitely help ease this.

5. You can relax more – we knew instantly that a stuffy, traditional day built around timings for speeches, a wedding breakfast, a first dance, the buffet etc wasn’t for us. A day dictated by tradition and timings sounded like a nightmare for us. So we ditched all that in favour of a fun and relaxed day. Telling 50 people to go with the flow is a lot easier than telling 150 people to go with the flow. The more people you have, the more likely they are to want to follow a set routine. If traditions and timings aren’t your thing then the relaxed vibe of a micro wedding is the way to go!

How to plan a micro wedding

Have I convinced you that micro weddings are the way forward yet? If so then you might be wondering how to plan one. Well if I haven’t made it clear already there really are no rules! If you are looking for a little guidance though then here are my top tips:

1. Don’t overthink it – you might be tempted to think that having a smaller wedding means you can’t have certain things like a big fancy wedding dress, a wedding car, reception entertainment etc. Ditch this thinking right now! I hate the idea that smaller weddings are any less important, that getting married in a registry office instead of a country house means you can’t wear a big wedding dress, that having less guests means you can’t have an absolutely banging reception. It’s bullshit. Wear the big dress, book the entertainment and do whatever you want. The size of your wedding is not an indicator of anything other than how many guests you have. Micro weddings may be small in size but they can still be big on fun.

2. Decide what you want and what you don’t want – if you’re ditching traditions it’s important to establish what is and isn’t important to you both. We’ve ditched a lot of traditions because we were both very happy to do so. However there may be one particular tradition that’s important to you or your partner. Establishing early on in planning what you do and don’t want from the day will save any shocks further down the line.

3. Be firm – if you’re heart is truly set on having a micro wedding you will probably receive some comments from family members. Yes even from those that actually make the guest list. A lot of people are still very hung up on wedding traditions and how they think a wedding should look. If your day doesn’t look like they think it should chances are they will say something. Now is the time to get thick skin and stick by your plans. The lack of guests, traditions, timings etc will all cause controversy but you have to keep at the front of your mind at all times that you’ve made the decisions you have for a good reason. That it’s your wedding day and no one else gets to plan how that should look.

4. Most of all have fun – planning a wedding is hard no matter the size. I personally do think that planning a micro wedding is super fun though. We haven’t got loads of people to please which makes it easier to stick to my favourite mantra of your wedding, your way. We can scrap everything we hate about traditional weddings. We can have a day that’s about us. Also micro weddings give you more scope for planning a wedding at less traditional venues if that’s the route you want to go down. I wouldn’t swap our micro wedding plans for a big wedding at all.

If you’re after some micro wedding inspiration then check out my real wedding section for some beautiful small weddings.

Are you having a micro wedding or are you considering ditching the big wedding plans in favour of something smaller? Let me know in the comments!

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