Many features come to mind when you think about a traditional wedding but what if tradition just isn’t for you? Should you stick to the old-fashioned way of doing things just because that’s what most people do? Absolutely not! Your wedding should represent you and your partner and tradition doesn’t often leave room for much individuality. Here are 11 wedding traditions you can skip and alternatives on what you could do instead.
Wearing A White Dress
Traditionally white symbolises purity which is why it became the colour to wear for wedding dresses. It was actually Queen Victoria who made white the popular choice for a wedding though as she wore one to marry Prince Albert in 1840. Before that brides tended to just wear their most expensive dress regardless of colour.
The alternative: These days variations on white such as champagne, ivory, oyster and blush tend to be more popular than a stark white dress. However, you can also find some beautiful coloured dresses, you just might need to stray away from highstreet wedding dress shops to find one.
If you’re looking for a more budget-friendly, coloured alternative to a wedding dress you would even try searching for a prom dress or for a more relaxed feel, look at bridesmaid dresses.
It doesn’t have to be a dress either! Wedding separates, suits and jumpsuits have all grown in popularity over the years so going for a completely different style might suit you more. On your wedding day you should feel beautiful but comfortable so if that means wearing an orange suit or a dip-dyed black dress, so be it!
Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue
Another tradition that goes back the the Victorian era is this wedding rhyme. The rhyme represents everything that’s meant to create a link to family and bring wealth and good fortune to the newly married couple. Usually, brides go for their dress as something new, a piece of family jewellery as something old, something borrowed can be something small such as jewellery or a hair accessory and something blue is usually shoes or a garter.
Many people like to partake in this tradition as it’s a chance to borrow or have family jewellery passed down to them. However, for some people, it doesn’t fit the feel of their day or they don’t have the family links to be able to do it.
The alternative: If this wedding tradition isn’t for you then don’t stress about it. There’s enough planning that goes into a wedding without adding something else to your list. However, weddings can highlight fractures in families and there’s nothing like a rhyme that’s designed to get your family involved to really hammer that home.
But here’s an alternative way of looking at things. Your wedding day is the start of creating your own little family, whatever that might look like. Whether it’s you, your partner and children or you, your partner and pets. If you still want a personal feel to the day maybe think about a nice piece of jewellery your partner has bought you that you could wear that will add a bit more of a personal touch for both of you.
Staying apart the night before
Tradition dictates that couples spend the night before the wedding apart, this probably stems from way back when couples didn’t even live together until they were married and the idea of it being unlucky for the bride and groom to see each other the morning of the wedding. With couples tending to live together for quite some time before they get married now this is definitely one of those wedding traditions that can feel out of touch with the modern world.
The alternative: If the thought of spending the night apart and not seeing your partner until you’re both at the end of the aisle excites you then go for it. There’s lots you can do the night before the wedding to add to the excitement like a fun, girly evening or a last-minute pamper session.
However many couples are choosing to spend the night before the wedding together now to feel more relaxed and cherish a few last moments together before being married. If you are choosing to stay together think of how you can have a chilled-out evening before the madness of the wedding day.
Wearing a veil
Wearing a veil became popular for many reasons from protecting the bride from evil spirits to hiding the face in the case of arranged marriages. These days it’s the number one bridal accessory you think about when you think of weddings and it’s more of a style thing now than anything else. Many brides stick with a veil as it’s seen as part of the overall traditional wedding look and they’re still a really popular choice, but that doesn’t mean to say you have to have one.
The alternative: There are so many hair accessories out there now that covering your head with a veil isn’t your only option. By using different hair accessories you can find something that better fits your style. You could have anything from a tiara to a flower crown or a hair vine.
If your wedding is airing on the more relaxed, less traditional side of things then a veil may not fit in or you simply might not like how they look. Personally, I always knew I didn’t want a veil but when I went dress shopping I tried one just to be sure and it did not suit me at all!
Tossing the bouquet
So we all know that catching a bride’s bouquet is meant to make the person who caught it lucky in love but why did brides actually start throwing their bouquets? Well apparently it used to be considered lucky to touch the new bride so to avoid dirty fingers all over their dress (and the invasion of personal space) brides began throwing their bouquets so guests could still touch something that belonged to the bride. I mean when you write it down it sounds completely crazy but it’s one of those things that’s sort of stuck around!
The alternative: I mean there is only one alternative here isn’t there and that’s to not throw your bouquet. Some wedding traditions are just crazy and this is up there with the best. Lots of brides choose to preserve their bouquets now so if that’s in your plans you won’t want to be throwing it around. There’s absolutely no reason to do this, so just leave it out if you want your bouquet to still look good at the end of the day.
Wearing a garter
OK, the whole garter thing is odd, especially when you look at why it started. Much like throwing your bouquet, tossing a garter was traditionally done so guests could have a piece of the bride. This moved on to the garter being removed by the groom and thrown to all the single men.
Surprisingly this still actually happens, I don’t know about anyone else but I wouldn’t want time set aside during my wedding reception for my new husband to remove a garter and throw it to the male guests, it’s truly bizarre and not the kind of all-eyes-on-me moment many brides want to experience.
The alternative: If you’re set on wearing a garter you honestly don’t have to remove it at your wedding. Of course, much like the bouquet thing, the other alternative is not to have a garter at all if it all just feels like a bit of a weird tradition. These days, the garter tends to be for your partner’s eyes only at the end of the wedding day but it’s not essential. They can be uncomfortable and let’s be honest, your garter is probably the last thing your partner is thinking about, so go for comfort and skip this one!
Having A First Dance
This tradition is rooted in the grand balls of yours gone by. It was tradition for the guest of honour to open the ball with a first dance. In the case of weddings, the bride and groom would be the guests of honour and therefore dance together.
However, as years went by it was seen as better etiquette for newlyweds not to dance on their and would only join in once guests had begun. These days, if couples opt for a first dance you’ll often find them dancing alone for a short period of time before inviting their guests to join them.
The alternative: Ballroom dancing is obviously not as popular as it was back in the 17th century which is where this tradition seems to date from however many couples still like to engage in a slow dance on their wedding day.
It can be a really nice moment together amongst the business of the day and a chance to play a song that holds a special meaning for you both. But do you have to do it? Not at all! This is definitely a tradition you can skip or bend to suit your preferences by dancing with your guests or going down a more fun, alternative route.
A Traditional Cake
This is one of those wedding traditions you can really have fun with because who doesn’t love cake?! Traditionally wedding cakes were white iced, tiered fruit cakes. And you guessed it they were a status of purity and wealth.
White icing didn’t use to be cheap so back in the Victorian era, coating a big cake in the ingredient was a status symbol. Sugar was also another expensive ingredient so having a tall, tiered cake showed you could afford something big. These days, fruit cake definitely isn’t as popular as it once was and most people opt for sponge now.
The alternative: Oh the possibilities are endless with this one! You could forgo the tiers and have just one tall cake, have tiers in different flavours, serve cupcakes, scrap the sweet element altogether and have cheese or pies, or go for cookies or doughnuts. There are literally no rules now when it comes to wedding cake so get creative and enjoy some delicious food!
A Big Wedding
There aren’t many things we can thank the COVID pandemic for. It disrupted thousands of weddings, put businesses in danger and made postponing the new buzzword in the wedding world. However, it did do something huge for wedding traditions that I am personally really pleased to see. It showed people that big weddings aren’t always the best weddings.
We’d always planned for a small wedding, long before anyone even knew what COVID was and thankfully by the time we had our wedding there were no restrictions, but many couples who grew tired of waiting decided to stick a middle finger up to the pandemic and go ahead with a micro wedding, creating a new trend of small and intimate weddings.
The alternative: If a big wedding isn’t for you whether it’s due to finances, only wanting to celebrate with close family and friends, or just not knowing that many people then you absolutely don’t have to go down that route.
Micro weddings showed a lot of people just how expensive and outdated big weddings are and changed the way many people plan and create their guest lists. We had less than 50 people at our wedding and it was perfect. So don’t feel pressure to invite absolutely everyone to your wedding, think small but perfectly formed when it comes to your guest list and I can guarantee you’ll still have the best day ever!
Serving A Wedding Breakfast
Lots of couples like to serve good food at their wedding. Having a wedding breakfast is predominately a British wedding tradition where newlyweds and ceremony guests eat a celebratory meal after the wedding. It usually consists of a 3-course meal and is quite a formal affair with a seating plan and traditional food like soups and roasts being served. However, you don’t need a wedding breakfast to have good food.
The alternative: A wedding breakfast was a flat-out no for us when we got married. It was just far too stuffy and formal for the chilled vibe of our day and having a late afternoon ceremony, it just didn’t feel necessary. Thankfully there are so many alternatives on offer if a wedding breakfast isn’t for you. Pizzas, food trucks, hog roasts, and buffets are just some of the options you could go for. And the good news is, if you’re having a budget wedding then skipping the wedding breakfast can save you hundreds, if not thousands of pounds!
Being Walked Down The Aisle
Oh wasn’t it fun to be a woman in the days gone by? The wedding tradition of being walked down the aisle was once a way for a father to present his daughter to her groom so the man didn’t ditch at the last minute and ruin the family name.
Nowadays it’s less of a business deal and more of a symbol of support as a father watches his daughter move on to the next chapter of her life. However some people still don’t like the idea of being given away by one man to another, their father may not be in their life anymore for whatever reason or they just might want to be independent and make a grand entrance all on their own.
The alternative: There’s lots you can do to make this tradition your own. You can choose to walk down the aisle by yourself, walk with an alternative family member or friend or even bring a pet along for the ride. This tradition can cause a lot of controversy but what’s important to remember with this one is it’s completely fine to actually stick to this one if you want to. It doesn’t have the same meaning that it once did and it can be a special moment with your dad which he’ll probably cherish for the rest of his life.
Are there any wedding traditions that you’ll be skipping? Let us know in the comments below!
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