Was my engagement really a surprise?

After 11 years together Josh proposed in December 2018 but after so long did I really not see it coming?

I’ve covered our full story including our engagement already so we’re not going to go over the finer details again. basically marriage was never part of Josh’s plan, he’d spent years telling people he wouldn’t be proposing and I’d accepted that it was unlikely we’d ever get married. In 2015 we went to Walt Disney World together for the first time and everyone expected a proposal at that point and it was made clear they thought we’d get engaged at Disney, we’d been together 8 years at that point and it got built up so much that I came to expect a proposal on that holiday. So after 2 weeks when I was flying home sans ring did I feel sad? Yes. I’m not saying anything Josh doesn’t already know so it’s fine but not long after we started looking at buying a house and naturally other adult conversations including marriage came up, I told Josh I’d been disappointed at Disney but I also realised that it was because it’d been built up by other people too. Josh explained that marriage didn’t change anything so he didn’t see the point because we were happy as we were, which was very true. After that I accepted that it just wasn’t what Josh wanted and that was fine, I loved him so it didn’t change anything.

Over the years it became a bit of joke between us and any time we did anything big like going back to Disney I’d joke ‘so are you going to propose?!’ Josh knew I didn’t mean anything by it and for me it’d just become a running joke. In December 2018 after 11 years together we headed to a Paul McCartney concert and had backstage passes, again I explained more about this in the our story post but I asked Josh if he thought McCartney would play Wonderful Christmastime as it’s my favourite Christmas song and always has been, Josh said it was highly likely it would be played so I jokingly said something along the lines of ‘oh you should propose when it plays’.

Looking back now to the afternoon of the concert I realise Josh really wasn’t himself. He was fairly quiet all the way to Liverpool and we’d packed up some food to take with us as we had to go straight after I’d finished work and wouldn’t have time for food before the concert, Josh didn’t touch any of it and believe me that boy can eat. I just assumed that working from home he’d had a big lunch to put him on. Around 10 minutes before he proposed I’d patted his jeans pockets and said ‘make sure you’ve got everything including the ring’ poor lad must’ve nearly had kittens thinking I’d feel the ring box but I didn’t!

When he actually got down on one knee I couldn’t believe it I was honestly so shocked. So despite the jokes I really didn’t see it coming. At this point I’d accepted a couple of years back that a proposal wouldn’t be happening but here Josh was ring in hand asking me to marry him. So yes my engagement really was a complete surprise!

Just out of curiosity I actually asked Josh not that long before writing this post why he proposed, ‘I dunno’ was the first response I got. Brilliant. But after he said he didn’t want to do it during the concert as it seemed too obvious and I wouldn’t hear him properly anyway so backstage seemed like a more unique idea because we were doing something special. True it was. ‘But why after all those years of being adamant you weren’t proposing?’ I asked. Whilst I’ve chosen not to reveal the full answer to that question as some things have to be kept just for us I will say that his basic response was because I supported him through a tough time last year so he thought I deserved it. I’ll be honest it wasn’t the answer I was expecting and just another surprise to add to the engagement!

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