6 wedding traditions you don't need to stick to

There are many features that come to mind when you think about a traditional wedding but what if tradition just isn't you? Should you stick to the old fashioned way of doing things just because that's what most people do? Absolutely not! Your wedding should represent you and your partner and tradition doesn't often leave room for much individuality. We aren't having a traditional wedding at all because stuffy, out of date ideas aren't what we wanted at all so we're doing things our way. Here are 6 wedding traditions you absolutely don't have to stick to, alternatives and what we're doing instead.

Wedding traditions that you don't need to stick to

The white dress 

Traditionally white symbolises purity which is why it became the colour to wear for wedding dresses. It was actually Queen Victoria who made white the popular choice for a wedding though as she wore a white dress to marry Prince Albert in 1840, prior to that brides tended to just wear their most expensive dress regardless of colour.

The alternative: your wedding = your rules. I'm a firm believer that your wedding should represent who you are as a couple and if that means you don't want to wear a white or even an ivory dress, so be it. There are some gorgeous options for dresses out there, chances are you'd have to stray away from wedding dress shops to find one but that doesn't matter. Try looking at prom dresses as an alternative if you're wanting a bit of colour or head to ASOS, Chi Chi or TFNC and look at their bridesmaid ranges for some beautiful coloured dresses. 

What we're doing: I've always known I wouldn't be wearing pure white. I'm very pale and even though I think I'm going to have a bit of a tan before the wedding it won't be anything dramatic because I just won't look like me. I've tried lighter dresses on when wedding dress shopping, including a pure white one and it did nothing for me. My dress is actually classed as blush pink which I love! It's not pink in the traditional sense but it adds a nice bit of warmth and actually fits in perfectly with our colour scheme. I'd actually intended to get an ivory dress but when I tried a blush pink beauty on I just knew it was meant to be. 

Something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue 

Another tradition that goes all the way back the the Victorian era. The rhyme represents everything that's meant to create a link to family and bring wealth and good fortune to the newly married couple. Usually brides go for their dress as something new, a piece of family jewellery as something old, something borrowed can be something small such as jewellery or a hair accessory and something blue is usually shoes or a garter.

The alternative: If this wedding tradition isn't for you but you still want a personal feel to the day maybe think about a nice piece or jewellery your partner has bought you that you could wear that will add a bit more of a personal touch for both of you.

What we're doing: I'll be honest I just really can't be bothered with this one! I know some brides love to stick to this but it's just not for me, my dress in new but as for the rest of it it's just something else to think about that doesn't really mean anything to me so I've scrapped it altogether. I don't really have any family jewellery that I have a connection to and blue shoes would not fit with my colour scheme so this is another tradition I'm not sticking to. I have a necklace that Josh bought me years ago, it's not anything fancy but it's a piece I love so I'm probably going to wear that on the day.

Staying apart the night before

Tradition dictates that couples spend the night before the wedding apart, this probably stems from way back when couples didn't even live together until they were married and the idea of it been unlucky for the bride and groom to see each other the morning of the wedding. With couples tending to live together for quite some time before they get married now it can feel a little old fashioned.

The alternative: Of course if you want to spend the night apart it might be nice to have a fun girly evening especially if you have quite a few bridesmaids. However many couples are choosing to spend the night before the wedding together now in order to feel more relaxed and cherish a few last moments together before being married. If you are choosing to stay together it'd be really nice to plan a relaxing evening together.

What we're doing: We're staying together the night before the wedding. I'm going to our wedding venue from our house anyway and this just seemed like a tradition that was completely pointless to us. So after any last minute bits are sorted on the morning of our wedding, Josh will be going to his Dad's to get ready. We haven't really thought about the night before the wedding in much detail yet as it's 14 months away but after the stress of getting everything organised during the day I'd like us to have a really relaxed evening with something good to watch and some nibbles and bubbly!

Wearing a veil

Wearing a veil became popular for many reasons from protecting the bride from evil spirits to hiding the face in the case of arranged marriages. These days it just seems like the number one bridal accessory you think about when you think of weddings and it's definitely more of a style thing now than anything else.

The alternative: I ran a poll over on my Instagram recently and was a little blown away by how many people were planning on having a veil, they're definitely still a popular option but don't let that make you feel like you should have one. There are so many hair accessories out there now that you can show off without a veil covering them and that fit with a whole range of wedding themes and styles. You could have anything from a tiara to a flower crown or a hair vine.

What we're doing: I've always known I wouldn't wear a veil as we're having a super relaxed non-traditional wedding a veil just felt a bit too stuffy and traditional for me. I have actually tried a veil on though and it just confirmed I really don't want one. I'm not 100% settled on my wedding hair yet but I'm probably going to have a nice hair vine or comb that will be shown off nicely without a veil getting in the way.

Tossing the bouquet

So we all know that catching a brides bouquet is meant to make the person who caught it lucky in love but why did brides actually start throwing their bouquets? Well apparently it used to be considered lucky to touch the new bride so to avoid dirty fingers all over their dress (and the invasion of personal space) brides began throwing their bouquets so guests could still touch something that belonged to the bride. I mean when you right it down it sounds completely crazy!

The alternative: I mean there really is only one alternative here isn't there and that's not to not throw your bouquet. Wedding traditions honestly baffle me and this is one of the craziest!

What we're doing: I won't be throwing my bouquet. I'm having artificial flowers that a friend has very kindly offered to arrange into a bouquet and I know it's going to look beautiful when it's done. I love that I'll have my bouquet as a keepsake so there is no way I'm flinging that up in the air for it to get battered and squashed.

Wearing a garter

O.K. this is another weird one for me. Much like throwing your bouquet, tossing a garter was traditionally done so guests could have a piece of the bride. This moved on to the garter being removed by the groom and thrown to all the single men. Surprisingly this still actually happens, I don't know about anyone else but I wouldn't want time set aside during my wedding reception for my new husband to remove a garter and throw it to the male guests, it's truly bizarre!

The alternative: If you're set on wearing a garter you honestly don't have to remove it at your wedding. Of course much like the bouquet thing, the other alternative is don't have a garter at all if it all just feels like a bit of a weird tradition.

What we're doing: I won't be wearing a garter, I'm really sorry to those of you that are having one (which again according to an Instagram poll I ran it would appear quite a few brides are which again surprised me) but I don't even think they look that nice. I honestly don't understand this tradition at all and it's definitely one I'm not even prepared to entertain the idea of!

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